just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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