I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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