found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
