Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
