ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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