Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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