In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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