I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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