I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
