I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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