This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
