Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
