i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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