No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
