How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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