Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My friends, they love my intelligence
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
