what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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