he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
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She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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