I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
