I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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