The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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