he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
