wakey wakey hands off snakey
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
