I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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