she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize