It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
