I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
