dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize