Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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