I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
