So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
