did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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