I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
