Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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