just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
