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if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
