if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
