Im at strip club and am horny
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
