Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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