But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Green mimosas i think yes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
