They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
