JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
