My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
