Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
two words...techno handjob
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
