I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
