The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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