So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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