He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
