just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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