After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
