Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
