were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize