Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
