you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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