Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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