wat bout pragnant strippers??
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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