i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
