Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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